Not sure where to start? ... Here are my all-time most popular posts:
This morning as I awoke reflecting on the new year we’re stepping into (and my big plans for it), I thought of Death. Which isn’t unusual, for I think of Death often these days. Stephen Jenkinson, author of “Die Wise,” observed that we live in a “death phobic and grief illiterate” world. Our dominant culture … Read more
♦◊♦ When A Man Doesn’t Trust Men … He uses women to soothe his loneliness. He forces women to hold him accountable, which he then resists & resents. He makes women the source of his worth & well-being. He isolates. He endlessly compares himself to other men. He can only look down on other men, … Read more
Few men realize they have daddy issues … until they step into deep growth work exclusively with other men. This is when men start to see just how much they project their ”father anger” and/or ”father hunger” onto the whole world around them. Ten years ago, in one men’s group I was part of, another … Read more
“Women often become the unwitting ritual stewards in relationships with men – the ones who become the initiators of men into mature manhood. Which is not their f*cking job. So much hostility arises between men and women because, on some level, we men crave the initiation yet know it’s not a woman’s job to offer … Read more
This past weekend, my wife and I just moved to a new home for the 9th time since 2022. You ever heard the term, “ambiguous loss”? It describes that kind of loss that defies closure, that can be hard to explain, not only to others but even to yourself. In the past 5 years – … Read more
First, I’ve got huuuuuuge news: My wife (Silvy Khoucasian) and I just signed with a literary agent to write a book together. Yeah. We’re super pumped. While not a literal baby (if you’ve been following my work a while you might have thought/wished that the big news), but it is .. *ahem … a literary … Read more
Part 3: Beyond Right and Wrong .. and Betrayal. “Out beyond ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing there’s a field. I’ll meet you there.” ~ Rumi Many years ago, I discovered a powerful practice that helps couples tell better stories in their relationships. Whether of past painful breakdowns, or happy memories they remember differently, this simple … Read more
Part 2: Relationship Isn’t a Real Thing. If you’ve experienced someone close to you – a sibling, parent, old friend, or intimate lover – hold (tell) some story about you in a way that felt harsh, one-sided, dismissive of your actual experience, or perhaps ignorant and devoid of curiosity, or simply lacked generosity in how … Read more
Part 1: My Story Isn’t The Same As Our Story The story of how I met my wife, Silvy, ten years ago is straight up magic. And for the first few months after we met, whenever she and I were with friends, I delighted in telling it to anyone who asked. But after patiently enduring … Read more
I’ve an old wound sourced in childhood that still whispers from the shadowy corners of my brain: “No one cares about what you’re doing.” That painful story took root in the first few decades of my life when my father was largely absent and the rest of my family didn’t know how to show much … Read more
