“We have to take responsibility for what we are not responsible for.” ~ Robert Moore ~ ♦◊♦ In 2013, I attended a large workshop with 2000-ish people, about half men and women. One day, the facilitator asked this question of the men: “Men, raise your hand if you have felt unsafe at any point during the last week.”
Most men think we have to bear our burdens alone. We don’t confess our worries, our sadnesses, our confusion, our despair. And that kills men.
♦◊♦ I used to think women were only afraid of aggression in men, in all its forms: anger, rage, physical violence, verbal abuse, sexual aggression, rape. I grew up with all kinds of conflicting social messages about the wrongs (and subtle rights) of violence against women. With three sisters and two mothers (married to my
♦◊♦ I’ve finally realized that I’m not supposed to understand my woman. I am only supposed to love her in all her wild mystery. I’m a “core masculine” man. I wouldn’t want to completely understand a woman, anyway. Like most men, once I understand or completely figure something out – or even think I have –
♦◊♦ Can a man be friends with a woman he’s attracted to? I’m a Man. I have lived this question thoroughly. The short answer is simply, Yes. Yes, Mature Men can be legitimate, authentic friends with the women they’re sexually attracted to. We can work respectfully alongside them, hang out with them, have lunch with
♦◊♦ I propose a powerful, simple experiment for you this holiday season: Don’t try to convince anyone of anything. This experiment will be especially useful if you are going to visit family and stressful interactions are routine in that odd tribe. I went to visit my mom in Maryland for Thanksgiving last year. My mom’s