Apologies are easy. It’s swallowing that jagged little pill of pride that’s hard. A genuine apology (with no sneaky agenda) can transform the dynamic in any relationship from a charged adversarial stand-off into the elegant dance of partnership. A wonderful karma-fixer, an apology can avert years of upset and disconnection. Too often, though, excuses deny
♦◊♦ I’m a huge fan of disillusionment. Having an illusion ripped away from us can be profoundly liberating. Dorothy had to discover the Wizard of Oz was just a conman before she could discover she already had the power to get herself home. When it comes to love, disillusionment is essential, if also profoundly painful.
Many men think our strongest power is in our brains or our balls. They’re wrong.
♦◊♦ Jealousy. That scourge of intimacy that, at its worst, can rob even the most sane person of his or her mental stability as it drags them disoriented and damned into a fiery living nightmare where they’re likely to be tortured by their own fantastical fictions. When jealousy settles into a relationship the consequences can
♦◊♦ Twice in my life, I have made a lot of money only to adventure it all away. At 26, I had built up substantial savings as a young US Air Force Officer. I had a sweet pad by the Atlantic Ocean, a Sebring convertible and the means to properly entertain my Canadian girlfriend whenever
♦◊♦ There’s only one right way to compliment a woman: Freely, with no expectation that she’ll give us anything in return for it. There’s only one place a genuine compliment arises from: Genuine appreciation of whatever gift she’s giving to the world in this moment. Whether that gift be her radiant femininity, her intelligence, her
“We have to take responsibility for what we are not responsible for.” ~ Robert Moore ~ ♦◊♦ In 2013, I attended a large workshop with 2000-ish people, about half men and women. One day, the facilitator asked this question of the men: “Men, raise your hand if you have felt unsafe at any point during the last week.”
Most men think we have to bear our burdens alone. We don’t confess our worries, our sadnesses, our confusion, our despair. And that kills men.
♦◊♦ I used to think women were only afraid of aggression in men, in all its forms: anger, rage, physical violence, verbal abuse, sexual aggression, rape. I grew up with all kinds of conflicting social messages about the wrongs (and subtle rights) of violence against women. With three sisters and two mothers (married to my
♦◊♦ I’ve finally realized that I’m not supposed to understand my woman. I am only supposed to love her in all her wild mystery. I’m a “core masculine” man. I wouldn’t want to completely understand a woman, anyway. Like most men, once I understand or completely figure something out – or even think I have –