This morning as I awoke reflecting on the new year we’re stepping into (and my big plans for it), I thought of Death. Which isn’t unusual, for I think of Death often these days. Stephen Jenkinson, author of “Die Wise,” observed that we live in a “death phobic and grief illiterate” world. Our dominant culture … Read more
♦◊♦ When A Man Doesn’t Trust Men … He uses women to soothe his loneliness. He forces women to hold him accountable, which he then resists & resents. He makes women the source of his worth & well-being. He isolates. He endlessly compares himself to other men. He can only look down on other men, … Read more
♦◊♦ In 2010, I spent 12 months in a purple SUV Dodge Durango crisscrossing North America on the most wondrous adventure with five other men, five brilliant musical shamans forever my brothers. That purple Durango – which anyone not color blind (like me) would always insist was blue – held us safe as we made … Read more
♦◊♦ I still sometimes say “yes” when I deeply want to say “no” (and vice versa) … and then resent others/life for my choices. I still sometimes walk paths that feel heavy because logic says this will get me the love, validation, etc. I want … which is mostly always wrong. I’ve been taught that
Most men think we have to bear our burdens alone. We don’t confess our worries, our sadnesses, our confusion, our despair. And that kills men.
♦◊♦ This blog is dedicated to the lonely. Even the lonely who have partners. Have you ever felt really lonely? I mean that kind of loneliness where you lie awake at night and your chest pulses with soft ache and your heart slowly burns as some persistent thought insists you’re destined to go through this
♦◊♦ I’m pretty sure that sometimes “healing” just means learning to live in peace with the pain. I’ve been to countless workshops. I’ve questioned my stressful thoughts for days on end and accumulated countless hours of stranger eye-gazing to weepy Whitney Houston songs; I’ve sat still and starving on desolate mountainsides, determinedly reframed disappointments and