Mens Work

A Guided Meditation on … Death (You’ll Love It!)

This morning as I awoke reflecting on the new year we’re stepping into (and my big plans for it), I thought of Death. Which isn’t unusual, for I think of Death often these days. Stephen Jenkinson, author of “Die Wise,” observed that we live in a “death phobic and grief illiterate” world. Our dominant culture … Read more

When A Man Doesn’t Trust Other Men

♦◊♦ When A Man Doesn’t Trust Men … He uses women to soothe his loneliness. He forces women to hold him accountable, which he then resists & resents. He makes women the source of his worth & well-being. He isolates. He endlessly compares himself to other men. He can only look down on other men, … Read more

Men Often Struggle to Feel Fully Alive In Relationships

A lot of men find it challenging to feel fully alive when in a long-term committed intimate relationship. Some men, who perhaps enjoyed being single, who felt lively & dynamic without the responsibilities a relationship brings, may struggle to maintain that vitality while settling into long-term relationship. Being in a two-person system (relationship) requires different … Read more

When Men Don’t Trust Other Men (Everyone Suffers)

This week, I’m off to the ancient Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina for my annual ELEVATE Men’s Retreat. It is an unspoken epidemic – with unfathomable repercussions – that so many men do not trust other men. For when a man cannot trust other men, it may reflect in the struggle to fully trust … Read more

A Man Without A Father’s Praise (Never Feels Successful Enough)

A Man Without A Father’s Praise (Never Feels Successful Enough)

“The more fragile a man feels internally, the more likely he is to try building an outer shell to hide this fragility.” ~ Guy Corneau (Absent Fathers Lost Sons) ♦◊♦ Throughout my life I have been plagued by the enduring fear that I’m never quite successful enough, whatever my actual successes. Which has been at … Read more

Men Need Safe Places To Feel (Angry)

Men Need Safe Places To Feel (Angry)

We men are Angry. Furious. Enraged. Which has nothing to do with Republicans, or Democrats, or the unfair accusations our intimate makes in her (his) moments of upset. No. We’re angry because our fathers left us alone to find our own way.

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A Man Divided Causes Stress In His Partner

Throughout my 20s and 30s, I often stayed in relationships I was deeply divided about staying in. My mouth would make promises my bones knew I couldn’t keep. Which made life awful for any woman who ever tried to love me.

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You’re Ready For All of Her, You’re a Goddamn Warrior

♦◊♦ My dear proud brother, I know why you’ve always struggled to truly, fully love every woman you’ve ever wanted to truly, fully love. I know why every romance you ever indulged in for more than a sweet, fleeting moment soon threatened to overwhelm you. I know why you still sometimes feel the urge to

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